Chapter 31: Happy Birthday to Me

Since starting my journey of fashion influencing/content creating/blogging, I wake up everyday thinking of what content I can create, how to create it, when I can create and how it will all turn out. This year, I put my heart and soul into doing this and it has been the best part of my 30th year. But truth be told, my 30th year wasn’t my favorite chapter/year of my life. 

Today is my first anniversary of my 30s and what a year it has been. It has been a hard year for me. As everyone can relate, every year has highs and lows. There were times I fell into a deep hole, while there were times I was high on life. Someone who is not in my life anymore, but was a huge part in pushing me to start this journey would always tell me when I was down and out to stop dwelling on the negative things that has happened and just move on. At that time, I pushed it off saying it is easier said than to do, but now I am working on myself and finding a way to remain positive during the negative times. 

As I began typing this post, I contemplated sharing this side of my story, but I wanted to share a side that many are afraid to share. To be honest with everyone, I am not exactly where I want to be in life. I am very hard on myself and I am my own worst enemy. Despite setting personal goals and semi-achieving them, I felt like it wasn’t enough. Some of the goals and plans I had set for myself either broke down into pieces or began slipping away from me. The floodgates of comparison, jealously, anger, impatience and confusion sunk me into a period of dark times. I felt like my life was at a standstill and it would taking a toll on me. 

So today starts Chapter 31 and the sun is slowly coming out as the dark cloud is being pushed away. This year I have decided to stop being so hard on myself and stop letting things I can’t control drag me down. As they say, it wasn’t in God’s plan and he has something special lined up for me (and God I hope it is this year) I am taking time to enjoy the good aspects of my life and letting go of things I can’t control. 

One of the best part this year has brought me was the world of fashion influencing/blogging that has allowed me to share my love of fashion, style and politics with my readers and online friends. Being able to share this with you via the internet has brought me happiness and joy even during my darkest days. Whether it is the comments on my photos and blog, sliding to my DM, or sending me an email note, it all has given me a constant reminder to keep going on this journey and never give up. Thank you all for the love and support this past year.

Last year, I wrote 30 things about me, so this year I decided to share 31 things about me and what I have learned in the past 31 years

1. 1. Family is everything
   2. Some relationship will come to an end. Not all are meant to be or last 
   3. Making excuses will only hold you back from reaching your goals
   4. Surround yourself with those who lift you up
   5. Other people’s opinions of you shouldn’t concern or bother you. Let them talk, just do you
   6. Change is not a bad thing, it’s just scary but worthwhile
   7. Learn from your past, but don’t dwell on it
   8. Take care of your mind, body, and spirit
   9. I have always been obsessed with the First Lady Melania Trump and her fashion style
   10. I absolutely hate Karaoke with a passion. If I am stuck going to a karaoke bar with friends or colleagues, I lose my mind and tune out
   11. I sleep with a teddy bear every night. I need something to hold while I try to fall asleep
   12. Being a bitch all the time will give you a reputation of people fearing you, but they will respect you. Learn when and where to bring this alter-ego out
   13. Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. The hunger for knowledge can improve the quality of your life and stimulate your brain.
   14. Writing down as well as putting in my calendar app the to-do list and scheduled events down has helped me focus and increase my productivity
   15. Meditation has helped gain some positivity as well as help with stress reliever 
   16. The beach is my place of solace
   17. I was born and raised in New York City (true New Yorker!) If I were to relocate, it probably would be D.C. for work 
   18. I am an introvert. Love being alone, hate being alone
   19. To this day, I don’t know how to swim. Maybe I will change that this time around 
   20. I don’t like watching movies, unless it is a mafia movie and in that case I am glued to the screen watching it
   21. My go-to cocktail at a bar is a margarita
   22. I have a bad habit of playing video games on my phone. There are times I can be in a middle of doing some work stuff and I will stop just to play a game or two (Angry Birds Blast and WWE Champions are my two go-to games)
   23. I was the biggest party girl in my early 20s. That phase ended when I started Grad School and my career simultaneously. Now good luck trying to get me out the house to go clubbing 
   24. My passion is photography and since starting the journey of fashion influencing, I am more aware of the details around me to help create my content in a different perspective
   25. I am the most organized messy person you will ever meet. If things are too organized and near, I feel lost 
   26. I hate my name, but I love what it means in Arabic (hope or desire)
   27. I can’t do any work without the news playing in the background. If it is too quiet, I can’t focus and I wander off. That is why one reason I can’t do any work at Starbucks
   28. I talk too fast and have a heavy New York accent. I am still working on talking a little slower without an accent.
   29. I love reading new political and government books, from both Republican and Democrat side
   30. My goal is to write a book, probably a political book. I almost started one, but plans fell through when one part of the topic what I wanted to write didn’t occur
   31. I never want to stop learning. Ever!

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